


abducted

by iihappydaysii



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alien Phil, Blow Jobs, Crying, Dan gets abducted and probed, Dubious Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, Hand Jobs, I AM SORRY, M/M, Medical Procedures, Pain, Restraints, Sort Of, Very very weird, abducted dan, anal probe, kind of dark in places, kind of enema, kind of gross, kind of tentacles, so the consent issues with that, so weird - Freeform, talk of m preg, though phil doesn't really want to do it either
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-08 03:10:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14685207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iihappydaysii/pseuds/iihappydaysii
Summary: dan gets abducted and probed by aliens





	abducted

**Author's Note:**

> this is a weird, weird fic. like just read the tags and be cautious. if you have any more detailed questions about what's happening in the fic before you read, you can message me @iihappydaysii on tumblr.

Dan woke up to bright lights shining over his head. He woke up to a pure white room with occasional streaks of silver. He woke up to his arms being held over his head, locked into wrist restraints. He woke up to his feet in stirrups, his legs spread wide, his wrists tied tight to those stirrups. He woke up with cold air on his skin. His bare skin. He woke up stark naked.

He started to scream.

He shut up to the sound of an airlock and doors opening behind him. A tall, slender person entered. Well, not quite a person. He was a little too pale, a skin a little blue, and his head was rounded, a bit elongated. Dan was still struck by how handsome he was, despite being clearly not quite human. His pale body was washed out even more by the white jumpsuit he was wearing.

“Where am I?” Dan shouted at the creature…the alien…he probably just had to accept that was the case. “What the fuck is going on? What are you doing to me? Let me go!”

“I know you don’t want to be here.”

“You’ve got that bloody right!” Dan thrashed against his restraints. He just wanted to wake up from this dream. It’s all he fucking wanted because this had to be a dream. It just absolutely had to be a dream.

The alien let out a breath, his attention on his shiny equipment. “Please don’t fight. You’ll only hurt yourself.”

“Just, just let me go.” Dan felt his stomach sink. He knew asking to be let go wouldn’t help but he was at a loss for what else to do. 

“We intend to,” the alien hesitated. “After.”

“After what, you fucker?” Dan spat, thrashing again. The strange, rubbery cuffs around his wrists and ankles only tightened, which sent another shock of fear through him.

“It’s just a simple probe.”

The alien wheeled a mechanical monstrosity over in front of him. It looked like a giant robotic arm that was ended with a tapered, but incredibly thick—like thicker than any dildo Dan had dared to try—silicone probe. It had something like a wiggle to it… and maybe small suction cups. It didn’t not look like a tentacle. 

_ Fuck.  _

He was naked, his legs were spread in the stirrups. It had to be a fucking anal probe.

“Oh my God. Oh my God. Fuck no.” Dan thrashed, not caring that it was getting tighter. He tried to suck in breaths but he couldn’t. His chest was tight, his heart frantic. And those cuffs were cutting off the circulation to his fingers and toes.

He’d joked in his life about being up for shit like this, but it was a  _ joke  _ about enjoying bottoming during sex. He didn’t actually fucking mean—

Dan shouted for help again, fighting his restraints. Again, they just held on tighter. 

The alien gave him a pitying look, almost like he felt sorry for him. “What did I tell you about resisting? It only makes it worse.”

Dan grit his teeth together. “Let me out of here, you evil piece of-“

“I can’t,” the alien replied flatly. “Unfortunately, I have no more control over those restraints than you do.”

Dan jerked his head toward the probe—oh, God, the probe. “You have control of that thing though.”

“And if I don’t use it, they’ll send in a replacement.” The alien’s voice was soft, almost calming, despite the situation. “I’m sorry. I truly am. But this is out of both our hands.”

“Fuck this,” he spat.

The alien adjusted the probe, lowering its height, angling it between Dan’s spread legs. “I will be as gentle as I can. I will use lubricant.”

Dan’s throat was so tight it was aching. His eyes were burning, wetness pooling in them. “I just want to go home.” It was a pointless plea, but he couldn’t help it. 

The alien gave him a soft smile, his brow slightly furrowed. “Soon enough, I promise… I can refer to you by number, but do you want to tell me your name?”

“What do you care?” Dan growled. He was just something to be poked and prodded.

“I won’t make you tell me,” he said.

The gentle nature of the alien was bothering him almost more than coldness would have or even cruelty. It would have at least met his expectations. It would have at least made sense. 

“It’s Dan. Might as well be on a first name basis since you’re going to be up my ass, right?” He tried for some levity. He needed some fucking levity and it wasn’t like he hadn’t had things up his ass before.

The alien’s gloved hands were coating the phallic end of the probe in some kind of greenish lube, almost, disgustingly, like snot.  “My Name is Phil.”

Phil was a peculiar name for an alien. He’d expected something like Xanderax not  _ fucking _ Phil. 

The alien had his hands on the equipment again. “I’m lining the probe up now, relax as much as you can.”

He tried to relax. Tried to think about oceans or good pizza or you know, something sexy—that’s how he normally relaxed for, like, entry or whatever. But this was a fucking alien anal probe. Hell yeah he was tense.

There was a pressure at his rim—a blunt pressure—it wasn’t all together unfamiliar, but it was a feeling saved for intimacy, one that usually made him feel good, sometimes even truly wanted. This was not that.

“Stop. Don’t, okay?” This alien seemed like he wasn’t just evil incarnate. Maybe he’d listen. The cuffs were painfully tight now, all he had to fight back with was his voice.

“Dan, I’ll stop, if you really want me to, but I can’t control the rest of them. You’re one of the Selected. They’ll simply send you to another technician for the procedure. And that concerns me for your safety.”

“My safety? That’s what you care about. That’s rich.” 

The alien—Phil apparently—looked away, down towards the floor. “Well, I’ve watched you, Dan. For awhile. You seem like a kind man, a good man.”

Dan felt himself shrink up on the inside. It was one thing to be jerked out of bed by a bright light one night, wrong place, wrong time. Another thing to be watched. To be  _ Selected _ . “You’ve been watching me?”

“It’s my job,” he said simply.

“Why don’t you get a new one, mate? A less fucking creepy one.”

“We don’t choose our jobs, Dan. They choose us.”

What the fuck did that even mean? Dan thought, but he was too fucking terrified to get the words out.

“Do you want me to stop or continue? It’s up to you.”

“Whatever,” Dan said. “Just get it fucking over with.”

That pressure on his hole increased, and he felt the silicone tip begin to breach him. 

_ No. No. No. No. No. _

Phil touched his inner thigh, low down near his ass cheek. “Now, relax. Dan, please. You could tear if you don’t.”

He tried. He really did, but the probe pressed in, slow and steady. It was so wide, so thick, and the stretch was more than anything he’d felt. His whole body ached to get away from it, but he was held in place. 

The cuffs were too tight for him to even thrash anymore. All he could do was lie there and take it.  “Fuck. Fuck! It’s hurts. It hurts. Please.”

“Deep breaths.” Phil laid one of his hands on Dan’s lower stomach, just a few inches above his flaccid cock. It was so cold. “It will help.”

“I know how to—Why are you doing this?” he whined, as the stretch just kept coming and coming, pulling and pulling.

He might know how to breathe when he was being penetrated, but he wasn’t using what he knew. He needed to. He needed to get through this. Dan took a deep breath, then blew it out slowly. He did it again.

“It’s just a routine research exam,” he said, but Phil’s voice wavered. Dan didn’t trust that it was the full truth.

“This is research? You’re scientists?”

“More or less. The best approximation to your species might be a wildlife biologist.” 

_ Wildlife? Fuck that.  _ Dan was not fucking wildlife.

Phil pressed pressed a button at the base of the probe’s weird mechanical arm. “It’s going to go deeper now.”

Dan felt it slide in even more, felt himself growing fuller, stretching out even more to accommodate its size. It didn’t feel great, but the deep breaths were helping and he could manage probably. 

He looked down his bare to chest to his patch of dark hair. He was getting hard too, his cock standing stiffly. He wasn’t getting off on this. He  _ wasn’t.  _ It was just a stupid physical reaction, hard to avoid when something was rubbing against his prostate and when he spent so much of his time getting off with something up his ass. And when a strangely pretty, unearthly creature was staring down at him. 

“Is… that it?” he asked hopefully.

Phil frowned. “I’m afraid not, Dan. It’s very long.” 

“Long?” It hadn’t looked that long. Wide, sure. But no more than eight inches long. He’d had cock longer than that—not thicker, but… he could feel something squirming up through his body, like it had come out of the tip of the probe. 

“Shit, fuck, oh my god.”

He’d never felt anything like it and it hurt, not excruciatingly, but like a dull pelvic pressure. Then, he looked down and saw a strange, bulbous head pressing up the skin of his abdomen. It was so fucking freaky looking that it was enough to make him go soft again.

Tears were leaking down out of his eyes now, pooling in his ears. He was just so completely, overwhelmed. 

Phil stepped a few feet away, then returned with a thin white cloth. He gently wiped Dan’s eyes, cleaned out of his ears, even wiped his nose.

That thing was still squirming through him and it felt so strange, so intrusive. He’d never felt so exposed in his life as that strange little bulb moved around his abdomen.

“I really rather not do this.” 

“I am sorry. It must be hard to believe, but I am.” Phil reached into a locked box and removed what looked like an IV bag, but larger—and filled with an almost milky liquid. 

“W-what’s that?” 

Phil hooked it up to the probe. “It’s just a… a viscous fluid. I’ve chosen the smallest amount but you’ll still be very full.” 

“Full? What do you? Oh God.” Dan could feel the cool, almost ice cold liquid, pouring into his body. It poured and poured and he had no idea how he was meant to keep it all inside, but even when he tried to bear down, nothing happened. Of course it didn’t. The probe was way too wide to let anything out.

His cock was fully soft again, small and curled into his pubic hair. 

“Please, Phil. Please.” Dan hated that he was begging. Hated that he’d used the alien’s name to do it. Like that could possibly help. “It’s too much.”

“I know, it’s a lot. I’m so sorry, but you’re doing so well.”

“Fucking  _ am _ I?” Dan spat. Then, he squealed when he looked down at his stomach and saw it growing bigger. The fucking probe was pumping so much into him that he was getting bigger, rounder. That was just insane and it didn’t feel great either.

“Would you like me to rub your stomach? It’ll feel a little better.”

Dan wanted to curse the alien out, but if there was any chance to relieve some of this pressure he would take it.

“Whatever. Fine.”

Phil gave him a small, pitiful smile then sat down on a stool by the exam table. He placed a hand on Dan’s stomach. It was still cold, surprisingly cold for a living creature. He gently stroked the swell. It didn’t help a lot but it did help a bit.

“What is it?” Dan asked, breathlessly. “What are you putting inside me?”

“It’s not important. You’re almost all full anyway and then you just have to hold if for a while.”

“It’s important to me. Just fucking tell me what it is.”

There was a long pause and Phil was just kind of staring in to the distance, then he said, “Sperm.”

“What the fuck?” Dan shouted.

“Dan.”

“Oh my God. Oh my God. Why?” He had a horrible feeling he knew why. 

“You were selected because your body has the possible potential of carrying our offspring. We’re all born with… with both reproductive organs—to carry or inseminate—but there was a disease, a kind of bacteria, on our planet and we can no longer carry. Humans are the most biologically similar to us.” 

Dan had a million questions, including about him not having a fucking uterus, and how getting pregnant could even be possible. Though these were fucking aliens who managed to get to earth and abduct him so what the hell did he know about what was possible?

“So, what? You’re filling me with your come and that’s why you were being all nice to me, because I’m going to be your fucking baby daddy? Fuck you!”

Phil hadn’t stopped rubbing his stomach. He kept on with his pleasant gentle circles. “It’s not my ejaculate, Dan. I’m… well, I’m very low ranking. I’ll never have children, though it was always my hopeless dream to carry,” he said wistfully and then dropped his hand away. He reached around to grab the mostly empty bag. There was a label on the front. “Oh…”

“What?”

“It’s… it’s the emperor’s. You must be very special, Dan.”

Dan whined. He didn’t feel special. He felt invaded, and embarrassed and scared and he was aching and cramping. 

“I don’t want to give birth to a fucking alien baby. This is fucking bullshit. Let me out of here.” He started thrashing again and the cuffs tightened again. God, that fucking hurt.

“Stop, Dan. Please. It’ll unlikely you’ll catch. It’s yet to happen, and there have been many attempts. Don’t hurt yourself.”

“ _ You’re _ hurting me! _ You _ are!” Dan spat. He didn’t know if that was totally fair, but he didn’t know if he cared.

Phil shut his eyes, squeezed them. “I know. I’m sorry. Will you please let me rub your stomach again? It’s all inside you now, but we have to wait.”

Dan wanted to say no, just to be a dick, but he was cramping so badly and the hand honestly helped. 

“Do what you have to,” Dan grumbled. 

Phil placed that cool hand on Dan’s abdomen again and began to gently pet back and forth with just the barest pressure. It was weird, but the relief it brought was welcome, even if he’d still occasionally cramp and have to grit through a sharp pain.

Dan winced. “How long until this shit comes out of me?”

“A little while longer. Do you want to talk about something? Get your mind off it.”

“Get my mind off it.” Dan snorted. “Oh yeah, that’s going to happen.”

Phil frowned again. He seemed to do quite a bit of frowning. “We could try. What if we talked about that show you’ve been watching? Where the men come and they like change up the house and buy another man clothes… except, no, that’s sad. You always cry when you watch that.”

Dan prickled at the reminder that he’d been watched, but he guessed it really didn’t matter at this point. “I don’t cry because it’s sad.”

Phil cocked his head. Dan couldn’t help but think he looked something like a strange puppy. “Why do you cry then?”

“I cry because it makes me happy. Well, I guess that’s not exactly. I cry because it makes me feel a lot of things at once. Like, it’s hopeful.”

“Oh, I can’t hear it—or you, so I didn’t know. I can only see it, but the one with the long hair. He makes me laugh. I like him.”

This was a fucking weird-ass conversation to be having with an extra-terrestrial as he was cramping from some sort of weird alien sperm enema, but at this point, Dan would take any distraction. No matter how weird.

“Yeah, that’s Jonathan. He’s really great.”

“Who do you like the best?”

“Antoni.”

Phil gave him another one of those confused puppy looks. 

“Oh, uh the hot one with the messy dark hair and the avocados.”

“I remember. You pleasured yourself to pictures of him.”

_ What?”  _ Dan had no fucking clue he could feel more embarrassed and exposed than he already did, but apparently he could. “

Phil frowned, his gentle strokes slowing. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to… I forgot humans were so private about sex.”

“And what? Martians aren’t?”

“I’m not a martian, Dan. But, no, we’re not. It’s not unusual to see our kind engaging in sexual intercourse publicly, including masturbation. But I know it’s different for humans, so I’m sorry I brought it up.”

“I can’t believe you just… like you just bang it out at the grocery store?”

“We don’t have grocery stores.”

Dan jolted suddenly again, which caused the restraints to tighten even more and the way he jerked against the probe inside him, tugged on his rim. 

“Ow, fuck, ow.” He hissed.

“The cramping?”

“No, fuck… I’m… your fucking probe is hung like horse. I’m sore.”

Phil pressed his lips together tightly, his eyes narrowing. “There’s some cooling gel. We’re really only supposed to use it, if there’s tearing.” He dropped his hand away and moved until he was between Dan’s legs. Dan fought the instinct to shut his legs and hide from the close examination because any movement against the restraints would just cause him more pain. 

“There’s no tearing, but you’re looking a little red. I’m going to make an exception.” Phil pulled out a small strange bottle, then squeezed sparkly gel onto the tips of his fingers. “I’m going to rub this on your hole, okay?”

“Do you have to say hole?”

“Is there something else you’d like me to call it,” Phil sounded sincere.

Dan sighed, missing the cool pressure of Phil’s hand against his swollen belly, and hating himself a little for it. “Just do it.”

Phil’s fingers pressed around where the probe was stretching him and trailed icy relief over his worn out rim.

Dan let out an involuntary groan.

“Does that help any?” Phil asked.

“Better there, but the cramping still fucking sucks.” 

Phil moved back over and sat on his little stool and began to rub gently over the bulge again. 

“Your hands are cold,” Dan said. “Is that like normal?”

“Yes, we have a much, much lower average body temperature than a human. It’s been one of the key problems with using humans as breeding vessels. Is the coldness bothering you? I can stop.”

“Feels kind of, uh, good, considering.”

Phil gave him a small smile. “I’m glad.”

Another strong cramp had Dan wincing. “Is this over yet?”

“A few more minutes,” Phil said. “Why don’t we talk about something else? Music. That’s what’s coming from your headphones, isn’t it? I see you kind of dancing sometimes. What kind of music?”

“I dunno. All sorts. Perfume Genius, Frank Ocean, Janelle Monae. But you probably don’t have any idea what that means, do you?”

“No, but it’s okay. Do you have a favorite song? What’s it called?”

Before Dan could answer, there was the sound of an airlock release and another alien walked in, tall and slender, similarly shaped head, but sharper, angrier features and cropped blonde hair.

Phil stood. “I’m in the middle of a procedure.”

“According to the timer on the door, you’re towards the end of the procedure, and I’m between specimens, so I thought I’d take a break.”

“Great. Go do that somewhere  _ else. _ ”

“Oh stop being such a spoilsport, Phil. This is the fun part.” The other alien started rubbing himself through his jumpsuit. “Don’t you just love to watch?”

“No, I don’t, and you need to leave,” Phil said. “Or…”

“Or what?”

“I could report you.”

The other alien still had his eyes trained between Dan’s legs. “Oh, please do. I need a good laugh. It’s my birthday.”

There was a beep, a loud beep.

Phil looked at Dan. “It’s going to—”

The long thing inside him started slithering back out, but a lot faster than it had come in. Dan gasped, as he felt his rim loosen, the probe being pulled out of him, and he felt a thin, watery liquid come pouring out of his body and splashing against what sounded like a pail.

Dan asked, “Is it ov—”

The probe’s mechanical arm moved again, and the silicon probe with it’s strange suction-y things pressed quickly back into his body, pulled almost all the way back, and pressed back in. Dan did everything he could to stay still, but he couldn’t stop himself from crying out.

“Just get the fuck out,” Phil snapped at the other alien. 

The alien pulled his hands out his trousers. “God, you’ve never been any fun. At least, play with its tiny cock a little. I like to squeeze them till their flat. Live it up.”

“ _ Out. _ ”

With the probe fucking in and out of his ass, Dan could barely register what the other alien had just said. But, God, he was suddenly very glad that if he had to be here, he’d lucked out and ended up here with this strange, pretty alien who rubbed his stomach and didn’t want to be here either and not that other fucker.

The other alien rolled his eyes but then opened the automatic doors, walked into a bright hallway and then disappeared behind the shutting doors.

“I’m so sorry about Steven. He’s an… an asshole. And I’m sorry I didn’t get to warn you.”

“That this thing was going to,” Dan hissed. “Fuck me?”

“Well, yes, it’s rather intense about it.”

“No shit.”

Seriously, the mechanical arm was thrusting in and out of him, quick and hard. He was taking a fucking pounding and he’d had some experience in that department, but this was next level and that thing still fucking hurt, but then something stroked that spot inside him, and he felt a wave of unexpected pleasure. It felt like maybe one of the suction cups had latched onto his prostate and— _ Oh, God,  _ Fuck. Dan had a fucking boner again.

It kept on and on, and Dan had never come untouched and he didn’t think it was going to happen now, especially under the circumstances of aching all over and being terrified and freaked out, but his cock was aching. It was swollen and red and drizzling all over his stomach and he just wanted to reach down and relieve some of the pressure but his hands were tied back and he couldn’t.

“Phil. God. Shit. Phil.”

“Dan? What is it?”

“It hurts.”

“I know. I know. I’m sorry. Do you want more cooling gel—”

“No. God. My dick. It’s so hard.” He couldn’t believe what he was saying. “Touch me.”

“What?” Phil’s voice cracked.

“Please.”

“I don’t… I’m not like…”

“You don’t fucking have to, mate, but like it would really help me out if you happen to— _ shit— _ not mind.”

“Okay, okay.” Phil sat down at his stool, he stripped off his plastic gloves and reached out slowly. He wrapped his fingers around Dan’s shaft and squeezed, stroking upward towards his tip. It was cold, tight, relief.

“Thank you. Fuck. Don’t stop.”

“If you’re sure.”

He was being fucked hard, and it was aching and intense and the suction cups were still grabbing at his prostate, which just made him whine. He could feel himself sweat, could feel the tears beginning to leak from his eyes again. It was all just too much.

Phil was still stroking him off, tight, gentle movements, that brought his thumb over his slit and back down again, spreading pre-come. But it just wasn’t enough, for some reason, it wasn’t enough and he wanted it to be enough because he felt like he was going to split apart if he didn’t get the release his body was craving. Those stupid fucking suction cups.

“It’s not… I don’t know… fuck… too much, Phil, I need.”

“What do you need?”

“I don’t know.  _ Fuck.”  _ Dan arched his back off the exam table, which just made the probe drive in deeper. “I need. To get. Off.”

“Do you want me to… that man at your house the other night. He… he put his mouth on you. Do you want me to do that?”

“ _ What? _ ”

“I can put my mouth on you, if you want.” Phil blushed. At least, Dan assumed he was blushing because his cheeks turned bluer. 

“O-okay. Yeah.”

Phil looked at him for a moment, then bit his lip. He leaned down and put his cool mouth around Dan’s tip. He suckled gently at the head, exploring, his tongue flicked, and sucked again, This time harder.

And that was it. That little bit of wet suction and Dan practically screaming. “ _ Fuck.  _ Oh God.  _ Fuck  _ me.” 

His orgasm hit him like the floor had dropped out of this ship and he’d crashed back down to earth.

When Phil pulled away, Dan watched him swallow, lick a little of Dan’s stray come off his bottom lip. 

The probe kept fucking into him. “Please. I need it to stop. Too sensitive now.”

“It’s almost done,” Phil said. “Just another minute.”

A minute sounded like an eternity when he felt like this, but he just let him self focus on the cool fingers on his wrist, and how they were gently petting at his pulse. 

Suddenly, the probe stopped and slid out of him all at once. Dan gasped.

“Jesus, fuck. That hurt,” he spat. “Goddammit.”

“Sorry. I’m so sorry.” Phil stood up from the stool again. “I need to check.”

Phil walked between his legs and looked down, his brow furrowed.

“What are you checking?”

“The plug.”

“Excuse me?”

“The sperm creates a mucous plug. If it’s not viable, your body will expel it, if it is, you’ll absorb it in a few moments. I’m just watching.”

“So, I could be like knocked up?”

Phil frowned. “Yes, Dan.”

“And if I am?”

“You’ll have to stay with us until term.”

“With you?”

Phil let out a breath. “I’m afraid not.”

Dan was feeling fucking terrified again, if it had ever really gone away. “When will we—oh God.” It was really fucking gross, but suddenly Dan felt as if he’d just taken an enormous dump, and he heard something fall into the pail—or whatever it was—again. On top of everything else, this was the most embarrassing day of his life.

Phil shut his eyes and let out a breath, the tension in his body released. “Not viable.”

“So I’m not pregnant?”

A tiny smiled flicked across Phil’s face. “You’re not. You’re fine, Dan. You can go home. I can release the restraints now, and I’d like to. I understand if you’d like to attack me, but I do want you to know that you’re on a spaceship several light years away from earth, so it wouldn’t do you much good.”

“I’m not going to attack you, Phil.”

“Okay.”

Phil undid the cuffs and Dan’s body basically collapsed back onto the exam table. Every part of him hurt. 

“Would you like some more cooling gel? For your wrist and ankles… or wherever.” Phil held it out to him. 

Dan took it and started spreading it over the red marks on his wrist and down to his ankles. It was actually really effective stuff. He kind of wanted to take it with him. 

“Can I shove it up my ass? Because my insides hurt like hell.”

“I have an oral medication you can take.” Phil handed him a couple pills and then handed him a silicone bottle. “It’s water,” Phil said.

Dan swallowed the pills down with a drink of water, then finished off the rest of the water. He hadn’t realized how thirsty he was until that exact moment. 

“When do I go back?” Dan asked.

“Not much longer. Couple minutes."

“And then, you grab someone else to replace me.”

Phil frowned. “Unfortunately. I hate this. I know it doesn’t help, after what just happened to you, but I don’t think it’s right. No, I know it isn’t right and I hate myself for it.”

“I don’t think I would’ve survived that without you, Phil. And if you hadn’t done it, someone else would, some asshole like Steven.”

“I just wish I could do something to make it stop. I think about it all the time, but there’s nothing, I can’t think about a way to make it stop so i just… I try to get people through it. But i’m still so sorry. I’m sorry.” A tear fell out of Phil’s eye and he wiped it away with the back of his hand. 

“Maybe you should just ditch, Phil. Sneak on the transport with me or whatever, and go live on earth. You can have whatever job you want there. I make stupid videos for a living. Sure you’re a little blue, but mostly you’re just pale, and your head is kind of alien-shaped, but who cares? Humans have all sorts of weird-shaped heads.”

Phil smiled. “That’s a nice dream. Going with you. I like you, Dan.”

“I think I’d like you too had we met under different circumstances.” Dan laughed. Then was confused about why he laughed, so he laughed again.

“I think the pain medication has begun to work,” Phil said.

“Will I forget everything? Or like will you replace my memory of you with like the memory of an owl or some shit?”

“I’m sorry, Dan. Unfortunately, you’ll remember.”

“I’m feeling really tired, Phil.”

“I know.”

“Can I…? I’m just gonna nap on you, okay?” Dan laid his head down in Phil’s lap. “Okay.”

And that was it, that was the last thing he remembered of the spaceship, and the cool alien fingers that were stroking gently through his curls.

  
  



End file.
